


We're All Broken In A Way

by Cyan_Sky1



Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Demisexual Tord, Demisexual!Tord, Edd is Trans, Fluff, Gay fluff eventually, Genderfluid!Matt, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matt is genderfluid, Pastel Tom, Pastel!Tom, Rape, Tord is Demisexual, Trans Edd, Trans!Edd, genderfluid matt, more tags to be added I'm tired, sorry wanted to be through w/the tags there, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 14:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11083227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyan_Sky1/pseuds/Cyan_Sky1
Summary: But then he heard a scream. Not just any scream. A blood curdling, spine chilling scream. Something you would hear out of a really good horror movie that would scare the wits out of you. A feeling of dread washed over him, and before he knew it he was dashing down the dimly lit street.Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok time to unleash the angst story that's been in the works for quite a bit. It's gonna be 4-5 chapters. And it's gonna get sad. But there's gonna be a happy ending so no worries. -For best experience listen to Have You Seen Me? by Nicole Dollanganger while reading!-

Every fiber of his being is telling him to run, but he has nowhere to run except towards the terrifying man in front of him.  
His mind is screaming at him to look away from him, to look anywhere else except towards him, but he had nowhere to look but at his mocking eyes.

"Say what you are again."  
"W-What...?"  
"Say what you said to your friends. When you 'came out of the closet'. Say what you said again."

'Why?' Tord thought, 'Why does that matter now?' A harsh fist hit Tord's right cheek, knocking him to the ground and interrupting his thoughts.

"I said TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE!"  
"I-I'm Demisexual!" Tord squeaked.  
The man smirked and laughed throatily at the Norwegian's shaky response, fury gleaming in his eyes.  
"Yeah, that's what I thought you said. Now tell me what it means."  
"I-It means that...I can't like anyone until I...have a emotional connection with them first."  
"So you're telling me you can't bang strangers or people you barely know?"  
"Ye-Yes."  
"THAT IS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD!" The man picked Tord up by his black trench coat and slammed him into the wall, hard. Tord had to strain to hear past the ringing in his ears to understand what the stranger said next.  
"You just say that to keep people from fucking that cute ass of yours." The man slapped Tord's butt harshly, which finally hinted at what the man wanted.

Tord panicked.

"STOP STRUGGLING! I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR HERE AND PROVING YOU WRONG!" The yelling made his head spin...  
"Please stop..." Tord whimpered, begging both the man and his head to stop shouting at him.  
"Oh, you just want to get right into the action huh? We can do that..." The man purred into the teenagers ear.

Before Tord could say anything else, the man ripped off his pants and boxers, not even bothering to unbutton them to avoid discomfort, and whipped out his penis. Tord gasped and screamed, but the scream was cut off with a sharp blow to the nose.

"If you don't want that to happen again then don't fucking scream!" The man hissed at the brunette. 

He then shoved his dick harshly into Tord's ass, and it took every single ounce of willpower he had to not scream again. The pain was unbearable. A harsh stinging sensation began to repeatedly pound into him, forcing tears out of his eyes and occasionally slipping out a breathless whimper out of his mouth.

"Ngh, shit you're tight. You must be a virgin. Figures."  
"Please....please..."  
"Please what babe?"  
"Stop..."  
Suddenly a fist punched Tord's stomach, making him dry heave. 

The man then picked up the pace, increasing the pain in Tord's rear end. Until he felt something warm trail down his pale cheeks. He was bleeding. The stranger seemed to care less though, he only grunted and pulled harshly at the teens hair. Until finally, he came into his hole. 

But...he didn't pull out.

"Ready for round 2?" 

No. Not again. Please no...

But he was not joking. He began to thrust into him again, and that's when Tord had enough.

The Norwegian screamed at the top of his lungs.

\---

Thomas Ridgewell said goodbye to his friend Edd as he finally left the party, him being the last one out. He knew that Edd's neighborhood was rather dangerous at night, but he didn't let his mind wander down that train of thought.

That party was the best time of his life. Tord, somebody who he viewed as an acquaintance, confessed who he was to himself, Matt, and Edd. He was a Demisexual. And everyone else decided to come out at that moment as well. 

Matt came out as genderfluid, and tucked some of his ginger locks behind his ear to reveal his golden pearl earrings.

Edd revealed he was transgender, and told his friends all about how much he struggled to convince his parents to let him buy a binder, but eventually got one.

And Tom, well, everyone knew about his feminine side. Tom was what you would call a 'pastel' boy. He loved wearing soft colored clothes and skirts and flower crowns, even though the bullying he got for it was relentless. But now that he knew he wasn't the only 'not normal' one in his group, he felt happier than ever. He knew now that the friends that he had and him really were one of a kind, and together he knew they could do anything, as cheesy as that sounds.

But then he heard a scream. Not just any scream. A blood curdling, spine chilling scream. Something you would hear out of a really good horror movie that would scare the wits out of you. A feeling of dread washed over him, and before he knew it he was dashing down the dimly lit street.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

\---

"I TOLD YOU TO NOT FUCKING SCREAM!" The man roared at Tord as he yanked his dick out of him and kicked him into the wall, this time he gave Tord a scratch on his right temple.  
"Please don't do it again....please..."

Before the stranger could hit Tord again, the two heard footsteps approaching them, fast.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY FROM HER!" Somebody with a rather girly outfit, Tord could not see them due to the darkness, screamed at the man in front of him and decked him right in the face.

He fell to the ground and hit his head so hard he blacked out. The mysterious hero took his opportunity and grabbed Tord by his arm and picked him up, bridal style. Which was surprisingly easy, considering the figure looked to be at least 5'6, and Tord was no taller than 4'8. The hero ran to the next alleyway, carefully dropping the small man down to the ground to inspect the damage.

"Th-Thank you, miss."  
"I'm not a miss." The hero said matter-of-factly, "And I thought for sure you were a girl too, so I guess we're both even."  
"EXCUSE ME?!" Tord exploded. All of the emotions and energy his body was denying him to have while being raped was now being lashed out at this poor hero.  
"AT LEAST I'M NOT DRESSED UP IN THE MOST FEMININE OUTFIT POSSIBLE! FUCK OFF!" Tord shoved the tall figure, hard, and he fell right on his bum.

Tord heard a few sniffles, then footsteps running away from him. After he knew he was alone, Tord felt the familiar prickle of tears behind his silver eyes.

Tord cried all the way back home, without any pants, blood trailing down his legs, his confidence shattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey sweet you're still here. I thought for sure I would lose a shit ton of people because of that first chapter. Well things will no longer go into anymore details about the rape, this is more of a progressive chapter. Not sure if you picked up on this or not, but the first chapter took place when the gang were teenagers. Now we're moving forward throughout the decades here. -For best experience listen to Smother by Daughter and/or Fleurs Captives by Nicole Dollanganger while reading!-

Ever since that fateful night, Tord and Tom grew up to be extremely guarded and aloof. Eventually, Tom broke his habit of wearing girly outfits so he wouldn't be verbally abused by anyone ever again, and Tord gained Haphephobia and refused to let anyone touch him, and refused to tell anyone he was Demisexual ever again, which led to many uncomfortable and loveless relationships for him over the years, only making his guard stronger.

Edd and Matt were never told what happened that night, and were left clueless as to why their friends refused to be themselves again.

Tord eventually grew to be 5'0 feet tall, Tom grew to be 5'10, Edd grew to be 6'0, and Matt grew to be 6'4. But Tord still managed to become the scariest out of all of them.

Eventually, the boys graduated from high school, and they all found themselves living together in Edd's house with little spare change due to Edd saving up all of the money he could to pay for top and bottom surgery. Whenever Edd felt generous, however, he allowed Matt to get some money to buy dresses and such for him, making him the happiest boy/girl alive.

One day Matt decided to buy everyone matching hoodies. Edd getting green, red for Tord, blue for Tom, and purple for Matt. But then Matt went overboard and also bought a green overcoat in an attempt to flirt with Edd. Originally the overcoat was supposed to be for him, but Edd insisted that Matt wore the overcoat instead.

Together, the boys went through many adventures. Joining the military for a day, beating mummies for treasure, falling for lesbians. They've done it all. 

Until, one day, Tord left. Nobody never knew why exactly he left, the only reason they could get out of him was leaving to follow his dream. But nobody knew what his dream was. Little did they knew that the Norwegian went to a place none of them ever dreamed to go.

Tord went to join the military again.

There, his fear of being touched and being raped again slowly disappeared as he gained his confidence back, along with gaining deadly knowledge on how to really hurt and kill people and how to walk in heels in order to look taller.

He gained many new allies, two of them becoming his new close friends: Paul and Patryk. The two were in a relationship together, but Tord didn't mind that. The reason why the pair stuck out to him the most is because they never doubted his word, and never made fun of him for his hight, despite the two of them being much taller than him even with his heels on. Soon, he overruled the military, and made the base into his own. He earned the name Red Leader, and with his two right hand men, together they began their plan to rule the world.

Three years passed and all of the main government military bases all over the world were successfully ambushed and down for the next two months. Now was Tord's window of opportunity to finish the final stage of his plan: To get his giant robot and destroy everything and anything that gets in his way. The only obstacle he had in front of him was...his old friends. 

Meanwhile, during the past three years, Edd, Matt, and Tom slowly recovered from Tord's absence, all in their own different ways. Matt became very confident in the outfits he like to wore, and could now wear them outside whenever he liked without feeling self-conscious about it. Edd finally gained enough money to pay for voice surgery, top surgery, and to legally change his name, now eagerly waiting for the money he needed to complete his transition via bottom surgery. And one day, out of the blue, Matt gained the courage to kiss Edd. Now the two were happily dating, and Tom was more than happy for them. He always thought they would be a cute couple anyway.

Tom, however, struggled the most with coping. Which made no sense to anyone, not even Tom himself. Why? Because Tord was the first to accept his feminine side all those years ago, and he felt like as long as he was around he would be able to gain the courage again to go back to his pastel ways. But without him there, he simply couldn't bring himself to be happy again.

But why? Tom ran through all of the theories he could possibly come up with in his head, and none of them seemed possible...except for one thing. Tom may have fallen for Tord without realizing it all those years ago. But Tord must've knew, and that's why he really left. He just couldn't face the chubby-secretly-feminine boy. And with that conclusion, Tom was quickly consumed with hatred for Tord. He began to drink heavily, much to Edd and Matt's dismay.

Eventually, the gang managed to stop Tom's drinking problem, and help him slowly break out of the shell he built for himself for the past decade. He could now wear the clothes he wanted without ripping them back off within the first 5 seconds, but only when he was in his room or home alone.

But everything was going to change.

-Insert the events of The End part 1 and 2 here-


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K this takes place after The End. PaulxPatryk stuff and a hint of TomxTord is gonna be in here so ye. -For best experience listen to Honest by The Neighborhood and/or Bombs On Monday by Melanie Martinez while reading!-

It hurt Tord. A lot. And it's not just the physical pain he's going though, either. He's going through severe emotional pain as well. Everything went wrong, everything went to hell. He never wanted to hurt his friends this badly. And Tom...oh god. Tom was who hurt Tord emotionally and physically the most. He shot his fucking robot with a harpoon gun. But then again, he deserved it. He deserves everything he's going through right now. And god was it painful...

\---

"What are we going to do with him?" Patryk asked his boyfriend with a soft voice a week after the incident one morning.  
"What do you mean?" Paul asked, but he already knew what Patryk was trying to talk about.  
"You know damn well what I mean! Tord is a mess! He hasn't been able to get out of bed without our help for the past five days! This needs to stop!"  
"And what can we do about it?" Paul finally met his eyes with Patryk's, Patryk slightly flinching at Paul's terse tone.  
"You know Tord, Patryk. He needs to get through this on his own. You know he hates being the center of someone's concern. The only thing we can do is be there for him when he's ready to talk it out and hope for the best." Paul gently ran his fingers through his boyfriend's soft hair, and Patryk decided Paul was right and smiled at his touch.

\---

Another week passed. Then two. Then four more. After two months has passed, Patryk decided enough was enough. He was going to help his best friend amend things with his other friends, wether he liked it or not. After Patryk went to the cafeteria section of the base and saw Tord wasn't there once again, fury and determination flashed in his hazel eyes as he turned right back around to the bedroom corridors. Paul saw Patryk turning, and stood up from his table to quickly run after him.

"Where are we going?" The Russian said after he met up with his boyfriend.  
"Tord's bedroom."  
"What-? But Tord isn't supposed to be awake until after we eat breakfast-"  
"-No, he's supposed to get up around the same time as all of us. We aren't his parents, we shouldn't have to wake him up for him."  
"Pat, we've been over this! He just needs more time-"  
"It has been TWO MONTHS Paul! I've had enough! And there's no use arguing because there's no use stopping me!" Pat punctuated his sentence by firmly knocking on Tord's door before entering.  
"Alright, sir! It's time to wake up and talk this out!" Pat went up to Tord's bed and boldly ripped the sheets off the tiny man. In any other circumstance this would've earned him a swift blow to the nose and a stern lecture, but Tord was simply too depressed to even react.  
"Sir! C'mon, we're fixing this!" Pat picked up the small commander with ease, but almost dropped him out of shock when he felt his rib cage through his now baggy hoodie.  
"Tord." Pat kept a straight face as he dropped the formalities, "How often have you been eating?"  
"Not....not very often..." Tord rubbed his eye, still clearly drowsy and not awake enough to comprehend what was happening as he mumbled out the truth.  
"This needs to stop dude! I've had it! You are going to get dressed nicely and you're gonna put on your red shiny robot arm and you're gonna use that arm to knock on your friend's apartment and apologize! Do you understand?!"  
"Hai." Tord slurred the Japanese term for yes, he must've learned it after watching so much damn hentai, and saluted Pat.

Paul has never seen Tord so out of character. It looked like all of his confidence and pride he once had has been amputated along with his right arm. Patryk didn't hesitate once as he dressed Tord up for him, Tord barely even moving during the whole process. Paul never seen Pat's eyes have so much stubbornness and determination in them. He really was set on doing this.

Before Tord and Paul knew it, Patryk was driving them all down to Edd and the gang's apartment. As soon as they were parked Pat grabbed the two boys by their hands and led all of them into the building, not stopping until they reached their destination. Pat moved the commie in front of the door, and that was when Tord snapped out of it and began to freak out.

"No, no guys I'm not ready-!"  
"-Oh yes you are! You are knocking on that door and apologizing!"  
"Pat this really isn't a good idea-"  
"-BULL! We need our Red Leader back and you know it! This is the only way he'll get better..." Pat trailed off his ranting as he heard a door slowly swing open, a very confused and dumbfounded Edd opened the door out of curiosity after he heard voices arguing right outside his door. His green-hazel eyes first landed on Pat for he was the one who was staring at him shocked, then Paul who was face palming, and Tord who looked like he was about to shit his pants.  
"Hey Edd, who are those people at the doo-OOOOO." Matt paused right behind Edd when he saw the man who punched him in the face and blew up their old home.  
"Wha-hey! What are you all doing here?" Matt had a look on his face that was a cross between confusion, surprise, and anger.  
"I-I'm-"  
"-He's here to apologize for his past actions!" Pat interrupted Tord as he scooted Tord closer to Edd, Edd instinctively backing away.  
"He never meant to hurt any of you, he simply wanted his giant robot. Unfortunately, we're gonna have to spend the next three years rebuilding everything, including shutting down all of the main government branches and making another giant robot that WON'T be based anywhere near you all. But we honestly don't blame Tom for shooting our robot down. After all, Tord did blow up your home and killed a man during his fit of excitement for world domination. And Tord had to amputate his right arm, it's now replaced with a robot arm with a laser and you all had to move into separate apartments so everything is about even. But the thing is Tord is very very sad about everything that happened, and he wants to be friends with you all again. All he wants to do is apologize." Pat squeezed Tord's biological arm, giving him the cue to apologize. But before he could even speak, Edd butted in.  
"Yeah yeah, that sounds great and all, but I would prefer to hear all of those words from TORD, not from...whoever you are."  
"It's true." Tord finally spoke up,  
"Everything he said is true. I've been...really depressed lately." Tord looked down at the floor, refusing to look at Edd and Matt,  
"Look...I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. Whatever it takes to gain your trust again, I'll do it. I just want to be friends and maybe even roommates again. Please. You guys are the only people who truly understand me outside of my loyal right hand men. You're all I have left." His silver eyes began to darken as tears trailed down his cheeks. 

Edd and Matt stood there shocked. They had never seen Tord look so...desperate. Empty. Depressed. Matt and Edd exchange looks before looking back at Tord.

"The truth is, after I ruined everything with you all, I've been having trouble with accepting myself. All of my confidence, my self esteem...it's been shattered. I no longer feel like a validated Demisexual. I'm just...broken."

Only Edd got what Tord meant by that. Broken is a common word Tord used to describe himself in high school. When he explained why he used it to describe himself, it broke Edd's heart. He calls himself broken whenever he feels like he isn't really a human because he can't feel sexual attraction 'correctly' like everybody else.

"Hey, no no no! You're not broken! You never were broken, and you're definitely not now!" Edd went forward to try to hug Tord, but then remembered his fear of being touched. But when he was about to step away, Tord flung his arms around Edd.

Edd, clearly shocked, hugged Tord back after a second, and heard the much smaller man sniffle and hiccup on his lower chest. He really was upset.

"Okay...please just...please just don't say that about yourself, okay? I forgive you for what you've done. But I don't know about Matt or-"  
"I forgive him!" Matt blurted out and joined the hug fest, almost squishing Tord in his arms.  
"Okay, but what about Tom?" Paul jumped into the conversation as Pat hugged his arm, smiling like a dork at the sight of Tord being reunited with his old friends again.  
"Where is Tom anyway?" Tord squeaked out in between his friendship sandwich.  
"Probably in his room. He spends a lot of time in there these days." Edd loosened his arms a bit around Tord has he looked up at Matt.  
"I'll go get him!" Matt scooped the tiny commie up in his arms bridal style and ran up to Tom's room.

Tord squeaked and tried to wiggle out of Matt's arms, but to no avail. Matt is a lot stronger than he looks.   
The ginger kicked open Tom's room and held Tord up in front of him like he was reenacting the Simba scene from Lion King. 

"TOM! TORD'S BACK!"  
"WHAT?!!" Tom turned around to look at Matt, but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized what the two men were seeing.

Tom was in a pink flowy dress that ended right above his knees with a hip-cut light purple leather jacket with white pantyhose and purple sneakers, with a pink and white flower crown on his head. Tom was obviously terrified when he realized that the two men was staring at him, Tord even forgetting to struggle out of Matt's grasp for a few seconds to stare at Tom. The whole room was frozen for a few seconds, everyone waiting for someone to make a move.

Finally, Tom's face flushed into a deep shade of red that reached up to his ears and his face scrunched up into a look of pure fury as he picked up a nearby bottle of Smirnoff and threw it at Matt and Tord, Matt moving the two of them away from the blow right on time. 

"FUCK OFF!" Suddenly Tom walked up and slammed the door shut in front of the poor duo's faces, scaring Tord shitless as Matt dropped Tord. As soon as Tord was free, he ran right back out the door back to Paul, Edd, and Pat, who watched the whole scene at the door.

"So that's why he spends so much time in there..." Edd mumbled to himself absentmindedly.  
"Ok so that was all we were here for thanks for everything goodbye!" Tord attempted to push Pat and Paul out of the doorstep with him out into the hallway, but to no avail. Edd reached back to pick up Tord.  
"Nope, you're sticking with us for right now, ok? We need to settle things with Tom and plan out living arrangements, then you can go back to wherever you came from to get your things, okay? And those two guys over there can help us out with plans. Sound good?" Edd looked at the three men in front of him, Matt still in the house trying to talk to Tom through the door but getting no response. 

Paul and Patryk exchange glances and shrugged as they walk into the house and sat on the sofa, Edd carrying Tord with him to sit on the chairs across from the said sofa. Tord mumbled about wanting his heels again as he wrangled free from Edd's arms and sat on the other chair, crossing his arms and pouting out of frustration.

Edd walked over to Tom's door and opened it again, and after a few minutes of arguing and another bottle of Smirnoff being thrown, Edd finally got Tom to exit his room to joint everyone else in his living room. And he's still in his pastel outfit, much to Tord's delight. Tord had always loved seeing Tom in those clothes, though he would never admit it out loud. After everyone was settled, Edd spoke again.

"Okay. Tord, mind repeating yourself for Tom?"  
"No need. I got the jist of what he said. He apologized and we all forgave him, apparently." Tom shook his head and glared at Tord.  
"But Tom, I-"  
"Save it. I know you're just saying this to get some guilt off your chest. You don't really want to be here. I KNOW you, commie. As soon as we all say we forgive you, you're just gonna go right back to your old commie ways and attempt to take over the world again."  
"That's not true! He truly misses you-"  
"Shut the fuck up, you two are not helping." Tom interrupted casually, but something about his body language silenced Pat from attempting to defend Tord again.  
"Tom, please. I...I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say!"  
"Tom, come on. Stop being so damn rude!" Edd stood up from his seat to face Tom.  
"He called himself broken again." Matt whispered to Tom next to him, only Edd and Tom hearing it.  
"What?" Tom's anger melted away at that.  
"No. I thought he was over that-"  
"Have you even considered the fact that he might've had his self esteem disappear after everything that's happened? He has one arm, Tom. Look at him. He looks nothing like the Tord we know." Tom broke his eyeless contact with Tord to really look at him again.

Tord's hair was a mess, no longer styled to look like the two perfect devil horns again. He lost an alarmingly amount of weight, and just looked extremely fragile. His eyes no longer had the fire and passion they once had, they were now two empty pools of grey. He really did need their help.

Tom gave one last sigh before standing up to face Tord.

"Alright, commie. I won't say that I forgive you until you promise me this one thing. When you finally get your emotions back, promise us you won't try to go behind our backs ever again. No more hiding any secrets. You will tell us anything and everything that you're feeling, and in return we'll let you do your 'Red Leader' shenanigans. Deal?"  
"Deal." Tord looked up and smiled for the first time in weeks as he gazed into Tom's black eyes.

Tom didn't know what happened, but it was at that moment his cheeks decided to flush a deep red when he made eye contact with Tord and looked at his smile, everyone in the room noticing.


End file.
